Smooth Jazz and Free Pie

Apparently my lesser half is not adequately satisfied with the amount of blogging I have been doing, even though clearly I stated in my last post that this was not my forte… Not only that, I was unaware that our blog followed a strict code of alternation, I had always assumed one was to post something when they felt moved to do so, similar to how instruments come and go in free form jazz, yet still manage to great music that is able to move the masses. I suppose that is what I get for being a visionary. I suppose I might as well realize my place as an oppressed member of society and write this so that the natural order of things may not be interrupted.

[Insert clever transition] So this past week has been somewhat uneventful I suppose, however I did finish off my last helping of Samoa Girl Scout cookie ice cream, which is saddening because they no longer sell it at Wally world and as far as I know there is no other way to acquire said commodity. Also I suppose I should write about starBYX which took place on the most recent Thursday of this month. For those of you who were unable to attend, yet still care enough about my life to read this blog, I have one of 2 questions for you. 1. If you really care about me why didn’t you come to starBYX? And 2. If you don’t care about me why are you reading this? For those of you that answered false to either question, you clearly missed the point of the exercise… starBYX went really well for those of you who were unable to make it or stay for its entirety, the event was essentially the “coming out” party for the Beta Upsilon Chi fraternity at UCA. There was live music and assorted food/drink items for the guests to snack upon whilst listening to said music. UCA BYX member Andrew Goff was the first performer followed by Jeremy Wilson and Jimmy [look up and insert last name] with a cover of Tik Tok. Ryan Burton, a UofA BYX member performed next followed by Townsend who was the closing act. Overall the party went well, and there was a general sense of amusement among the guests who attended. The men of BYX hope to throw more functions in the future and are excited about our future involvement in and on the UCA campus.

Another thing I feel I must mention is that accompanying Ryan Burton in the trip down from Fayetteville were fellow UofA BYX members Jordan Difiani and Cass Trumbo, whom also came down to help with our initiation in February. Now what many of you may not know, unless you know either of these men already is that when Cass came down before he had a blind date at Stoby’s, that was set up by his sister. Well Difani, T.J. Blake and I all decided we were hungry and went to Stoby’s, not knowing the location of Cass’s date. Well to our great fortune Cass and said lady friend were there and Cass’s back was facing the door so he did not see us come in and sit down. Well his date seemed to be going really well as he never turned around nor did there seem to be any breaks in conversation (yes we were creeping hardcore from our booth) so the four of us decided that it would be fun to play a little harmless prank on Cass so as we were paying we told the waitress to deliver a piece of pie to them, which we had already paid for, and to tell them that they had won the award for the cutest couple of the night and that this piece of pie was their reward. Well when we saw Cass later that day his face had a luminescent quality about it, as if someone had shoved a glow stick up his nose and it was radiating through all the pores in his face, and he told the story of his pie winning date like a kid who was describing a puppy that he received on Christmas morning. The four of us then got together and decided it would crush him if we were to ever tell him this story so we vowed never to speak a word of it again. That being said, apparently the date was brought up on the journey back to Fayetteville and Difani could not contain himself and began to bust out laughing, and had to confess to Cass that the entire award is a sham, and that Stoby’s does not even give out a cutest couple award. You can find Cass’s response to fining out here.

Good luck world. Enjoy Glee tonight.

When I Pulled My Hamstring, I Went To A Misogynist.

"Glee" this week was kind of a disappointment. I knew coming into the episode, the Madonna songs were going to be way overdone and not relate to the plot at all, but I really only feel like "Like a Virgin" was the only song that remotely fit into the story... Overall, I still liked the episode because of all the drama that unfolded. The performances tonight were great; choreographed and sung very well, but apparently at the expense of having them follow the story as well as past episodes.

It was obvious that the Madonna theme was going to be run to the ground when Sue brought it up to the principle and the Cheerios in the first minute. It was out of character. Sue would never do something like that. She has made it clear the Cheerios are not about musical performance, only excellence in cheer and infiltrating the Glee Club. It was just too obvious they were trying to force Madonna into every aspect of the show tonight.

With all of the Madonna stuff out of the way, a lot of significant things happened tonight. I love the parallels between the relationships of Finn/Rachel and WIll/Emma. Genius. Every problem one couple encounters, the other also experiences in a way. The best parallel I have seen between the two happened this week with Finn, Rachel, and Emma all contemplating turning in the V-Card. I wanted all three to give in and do "the nasty" (Emma) but only Finn did. At first it didn't make sense that he was the only one, but really it makes perfect sense. Will has obviously already lost his virginity and to keep the parallel consistent, it was necessary for Finn to also lose it. So now, it is only the two girls who are virgins. What was interesting here was both of the girls wanted to have sex and thought it would empower them by submitting to their boyfriends. But when they both backed out, the men of Glee made an effort to empower all of the girls and worked to show more respect by realizing sex is not best way to empower themselves or the girls.

Last episode and for most of this one, it seemed like Glee was forwarding the storyline with those two relationships way too fast and not allowing for more growth and development of the characters, plot, nor drama which would lead to a quick ending to the series. But Glee made a good decision in slowing the relationships down. It is going to be interesting to see how Emma and Rachel are going to relate next week because Rachel is with Jesse and not Finn right now. Will Rachel go back to Finn this quickly, or will Emma start to play the field a bit? Something to draw the parallel between the two closer will have to happen next week and I am excited to see what it is.

I have also decided that Brittany and Santana are the best characters. Without a doubt. The things they say are hysterical.
"When I pulled my hamstring, I went to a misogynist."
"It's a win-win situation. For me."

But my favorite was last week. "Look, I'm pretty sure you have to do what we say, and this food was unsatisfactory." "Mine had a mouse in it."

Robin Hood and Mary's Men

Ok so clearly blogging may not be my forte as it has been a few days since my last post, however with that being said I have a lot of new things to share with as much has happened since Wednesday. In an effort not to bore you with the mundane details I will skip ahead to the exciting parts, most notably with the first night of SOS staff training on Thursday. Obviously any team that I am on is going to be the best, and Foot's Farmers did not fall short of this expectation. There were also such challenges that were to completed by groupings that were not team specific, but randomly selected or at least by some means that was undisclosed to everyone at said training session. Now these tasks mind you were no small feat. I dare say that only a magician or some team of highly trained marsupials could have devised such fiendish tasks, nevertheless due to some quick witted thinking and lightning quick reflexes we navigated the through the labyrinth of terror and slayed the mighty dragon.
After the first night of training had ceased and I rested my tired soul for the night I arose for what I assumed would be a normal Friday morning lab, but what I should have known is that nothing is ever quite as it seems with Sally Entrekin. Primarily this day was some 25 degrees colder than the previous day of 75. For those of you that learned arithmetic from a couple of 9 fingered hobos, that means it only 50 degrees, and thus quite chilly at 8 am. Now ordinarily that would not make much of a difference in how the course of the day would function for me, but as you may have guessed, today was no ordinary day. Today as a part of our laboratory assignment we got the distinct privilege of wading into the frigid waters of the vernal pools that lie in the Jewel E. Moore Nature Reserve. Fortunately I typically spend the second Friday of April attempting to lose all the sensation in my lower extremities so the day went off without a hitch.
After I completed the tasks set before me by those who dictate the lives of the poor souls that commit themselves to biology, I glanced into the sky and saw the Shiner symbol and knew that I was being beckoned. I calculated the origin of my symbol to be from the location shared by a one T.J. Beringer. I immediately started the necessary campfire so that I could communicate with him via smoke signal in order to relay whatever information he had for me. I then learned that we had to go and search for a disguise that would enable us to complete the tasks set before us on Saturday during our next day of SOS training. We ventured to Little Rock in order to complete said task and also to have some Flying Burrito due to the fact that it is absolutely delicious. After filling our bellies with the only thing that is more conducive to producing champions than a box of Wheaties, we ventured to what we thought was a local thrift store by the name of Paddywacks, however the owners of this establishment had moved into another galaxy, the back of galaxy furniture to be exact.
Now we received directions to galaxy furniture from the man who was in the old location of Paddywacks, but our driver captain T.J. thought it would be easier to listen to the directions that his Garmin had given us, even though it had already taken us to the wrong location once. Gertrude the Garmin again took us to a different location than the establishment we sought; however this stop was more fruitful than the last. In proximity to where Paddywacks was supposed to be this time we found a discount gentleman’s store complete with 3 piece suits in any color that could be found in 32 count box of Crayola crayons. After trying on a few different articles of clothing I found a lime green suit I thought would make a perfect for the task at hand, however when I asked the store owner how much the outfit would cost me he told me it was on sale, and I thought I was in luck, he then continued to say that it was on sale for $100 dollars, to which I thought surely he must be absurd as I wouldn’t pay more than $20 for this suit because not only was it not quite my size it was made out of the same quality fabric that is in the $3 sets of sheets at Wal-Mart. After not so politely declining the sale that he offered me I decided that this place was not going to be as worthwhile as I had previously thought and decided we should leave the establishment. T.J. did happen to find some jeans that were made of bright green denim so the stop was not completely a wash.
After finally following the directions of the ole prospector we were able to find Paddywacks and to our disappointment the things they had were not exactly what we were hoping for in a name like Paddywacks. They directed us to another store that would have more of what we desired. T.J. found a couple things to complete his wardrobe and we returned home ready for our next day of training in the morning. For SOS training on Saturday we were each assigned a character of whom we were supposed to identify ourselves with. My character was Byron P. Keaton, former math nerd turned millionaire. I donned a blue suit and all the necessary accessories that go with such. For lunch we were split into 2 groups each of the groups put into their own room. We were then given envelopes with information regarding the character we were meant to portray and were also given several tasks we had to complete. After the tasks were completed the lights were turned off and one of the characters was lying dead on the floor, apparently murdered by one of the other members of party. We then left the party to resume other aspects of our training. For this part each team was assigned some mock situations that previous SOS members in order to give us more hands on experience. After completing this part of the training we returned to our previous rooms in order to attempt to figure out who the killer was. I was a prime suspect in the murder investigation due to my close financial ties to the victim and potential benefits from his death. In the end the real killer was found and I was absolved of all charges. I was able to return home an innocent man.
The final day of the weekend was now upon us and my Sunday began with my favorite Sunday pastime. Driving out to a less than well manicured golf course and attempting to scratch together a good golf game after having not played in about a year. I played about as well as I could ever have expected to play, hitting the ball disgustingly far off the tee and taking about 4 shots more than what the norm would be in order to make it into the hole. Overall it was a fun afternoon, plus Kane and I were able to develop a strategy for the upcoming Delta Zeta golf scramble. The only thing left was to find a third person to play with us, and a team name of course. After speaking with the always enjoyable and exciting Robert Rogers we were able to finally acquire the third person we needed for our quest, and thus our wolf pack grew by one. Now on this day the only thing we were lacking was something to call ourselves. A name the masses could chant once we have acquired total victory. But not just any name, we needed a name that would convey the awesomeness that the three of us knew that we had. Plus it would be good to incorporate the name of our Delta Zeta caddy that will accompany us on our journey towards perfection. So what name would perfectly entwine Kane Moix, Robert Rogers, myself, and Mary Richmond our caddy? And then it happened. Right after I watched the Milwaukee Brewers mascot slide down the 3 story slide following a home run. We shall call ourselves Robin Hood and Mary’s Men and we shall fight for all those who have never won a golf tournament, and once we are victorious order will be returned to the universe.

Spring rain and tree sperm

This morning I woke up only to find that my chocolate milk had gone bad yesterday and that the carton of eggs I had purchased in January was beginning to stink up the refrigerator. College. Alas I did nothing about either of these things and receded back into the darkness of which my bed resides, only to remember that I had not completed my pre-lab assignment that was due within the hour. So I did the only logical thing which is to get out my lab notebook and do nothing until I logged onto facebook. As it turns out the pre-lab for this week was rather short and I was able to complete it with ample time to spare.
Upon the departure of my humble apartment I realized that it had begun to precipitate. This is good as finally something was going to wash away of all the yellow reproductive mess that the vegetation of Conway has ejaculated upon my car. Or at least I thought. As of yet the rain has barely escalated above a trickle and has not produced enough water flow to clean my vehicle. Oh well, I suppose my car will remain stained with the scourge of the forest until the weather becomes more violent, or I become productive enough to clean it. More than likely it will be the former.

αλυπια

Dissoi Logoi - a twofold argument. Two bloggers. Twice as bank.

Alupia - painlessness. We do not feel pain.

This is the blog of TJ Beringer and Jordan Chenier. What follows will be nearly as epic as the Greek we used to name our blog.