Robin Hood and Mary's Men

Ok so clearly blogging may not be my forte as it has been a few days since my last post, however with that being said I have a lot of new things to share with as much has happened since Wednesday. In an effort not to bore you with the mundane details I will skip ahead to the exciting parts, most notably with the first night of SOS staff training on Thursday. Obviously any team that I am on is going to be the best, and Foot's Farmers did not fall short of this expectation. There were also such challenges that were to completed by groupings that were not team specific, but randomly selected or at least by some means that was undisclosed to everyone at said training session. Now these tasks mind you were no small feat. I dare say that only a magician or some team of highly trained marsupials could have devised such fiendish tasks, nevertheless due to some quick witted thinking and lightning quick reflexes we navigated the through the labyrinth of terror and slayed the mighty dragon.
After the first night of training had ceased and I rested my tired soul for the night I arose for what I assumed would be a normal Friday morning lab, but what I should have known is that nothing is ever quite as it seems with Sally Entrekin. Primarily this day was some 25 degrees colder than the previous day of 75. For those of you that learned arithmetic from a couple of 9 fingered hobos, that means it only 50 degrees, and thus quite chilly at 8 am. Now ordinarily that would not make much of a difference in how the course of the day would function for me, but as you may have guessed, today was no ordinary day. Today as a part of our laboratory assignment we got the distinct privilege of wading into the frigid waters of the vernal pools that lie in the Jewel E. Moore Nature Reserve. Fortunately I typically spend the second Friday of April attempting to lose all the sensation in my lower extremities so the day went off without a hitch.
After I completed the tasks set before me by those who dictate the lives of the poor souls that commit themselves to biology, I glanced into the sky and saw the Shiner symbol and knew that I was being beckoned. I calculated the origin of my symbol to be from the location shared by a one T.J. Beringer. I immediately started the necessary campfire so that I could communicate with him via smoke signal in order to relay whatever information he had for me. I then learned that we had to go and search for a disguise that would enable us to complete the tasks set before us on Saturday during our next day of SOS training. We ventured to Little Rock in order to complete said task and also to have some Flying Burrito due to the fact that it is absolutely delicious. After filling our bellies with the only thing that is more conducive to producing champions than a box of Wheaties, we ventured to what we thought was a local thrift store by the name of Paddywacks, however the owners of this establishment had moved into another galaxy, the back of galaxy furniture to be exact.
Now we received directions to galaxy furniture from the man who was in the old location of Paddywacks, but our driver captain T.J. thought it would be easier to listen to the directions that his Garmin had given us, even though it had already taken us to the wrong location once. Gertrude the Garmin again took us to a different location than the establishment we sought; however this stop was more fruitful than the last. In proximity to where Paddywacks was supposed to be this time we found a discount gentleman’s store complete with 3 piece suits in any color that could be found in 32 count box of Crayola crayons. After trying on a few different articles of clothing I found a lime green suit I thought would make a perfect for the task at hand, however when I asked the store owner how much the outfit would cost me he told me it was on sale, and I thought I was in luck, he then continued to say that it was on sale for $100 dollars, to which I thought surely he must be absurd as I wouldn’t pay more than $20 for this suit because not only was it not quite my size it was made out of the same quality fabric that is in the $3 sets of sheets at Wal-Mart. After not so politely declining the sale that he offered me I decided that this place was not going to be as worthwhile as I had previously thought and decided we should leave the establishment. T.J. did happen to find some jeans that were made of bright green denim so the stop was not completely a wash.
After finally following the directions of the ole prospector we were able to find Paddywacks and to our disappointment the things they had were not exactly what we were hoping for in a name like Paddywacks. They directed us to another store that would have more of what we desired. T.J. found a couple things to complete his wardrobe and we returned home ready for our next day of training in the morning. For SOS training on Saturday we were each assigned a character of whom we were supposed to identify ourselves with. My character was Byron P. Keaton, former math nerd turned millionaire. I donned a blue suit and all the necessary accessories that go with such. For lunch we were split into 2 groups each of the groups put into their own room. We were then given envelopes with information regarding the character we were meant to portray and were also given several tasks we had to complete. After the tasks were completed the lights were turned off and one of the characters was lying dead on the floor, apparently murdered by one of the other members of party. We then left the party to resume other aspects of our training. For this part each team was assigned some mock situations that previous SOS members in order to give us more hands on experience. After completing this part of the training we returned to our previous rooms in order to attempt to figure out who the killer was. I was a prime suspect in the murder investigation due to my close financial ties to the victim and potential benefits from his death. In the end the real killer was found and I was absolved of all charges. I was able to return home an innocent man.
The final day of the weekend was now upon us and my Sunday began with my favorite Sunday pastime. Driving out to a less than well manicured golf course and attempting to scratch together a good golf game after having not played in about a year. I played about as well as I could ever have expected to play, hitting the ball disgustingly far off the tee and taking about 4 shots more than what the norm would be in order to make it into the hole. Overall it was a fun afternoon, plus Kane and I were able to develop a strategy for the upcoming Delta Zeta golf scramble. The only thing left was to find a third person to play with us, and a team name of course. After speaking with the always enjoyable and exciting Robert Rogers we were able to finally acquire the third person we needed for our quest, and thus our wolf pack grew by one. Now on this day the only thing we were lacking was something to call ourselves. A name the masses could chant once we have acquired total victory. But not just any name, we needed a name that would convey the awesomeness that the three of us knew that we had. Plus it would be good to incorporate the name of our Delta Zeta caddy that will accompany us on our journey towards perfection. So what name would perfectly entwine Kane Moix, Robert Rogers, myself, and Mary Richmond our caddy? And then it happened. Right after I watched the Milwaukee Brewers mascot slide down the 3 story slide following a home run. We shall call ourselves Robin Hood and Mary’s Men and we shall fight for all those who have never won a golf tournament, and once we are victorious order will be returned to the universe.